My Neighbor's Window

I've let some people down today,
including myself.
I've said thoughtless words
coming straight from the well-spring of my heart.
Regrets...mistakes.

The closing words to the sermon this morning still linger,
                       "Greater is He that is in me,
                         than he that is in the world."   
                                       1st John4:4
The world is not only out there,
but also in here...I am deemed part of that world.
The One who dwells in me,
is greater than my within...my own thoughts...my own heart.
                     "This then is how we know we belong to the truth,
                     and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence
                     whenever our hearts condemn us.
                    For God is greater than our hearts..."
                      1st John 3:19,20
Forgiveness heals,
consequences remain.

Depression descends, pulling me into its pit.
Sleep promises escape.
I head for the couch searching out a pillow.
I glance out my window.
Something catches my eye.
Sunflowers nod their heads at me,
and beckon me to their beauty from the most peculiar place...
inside my neighbor's window.

"Why is that so strange?" you might ask.
In all the six years we have lived in this house,
my neighbors have kept most of their curtains tightly drawn,
seclusion donned as privacy.
Today there are no curtains...but sunflowers.
My heart skips a beat.
Beauty.  Joy.  Hope of friendship.
I wonder if my neighbor knows how she has blessed my day...
and my heart.

I haven't picked any flowers lately,
all summer really.  I've been too busy to allow them to grace my table.
They've bloomed in my backyard neglected and unappreciated.
In fact, I've hardly noticed them.

My own window has a crack through it,
bandaged with packaging tape and dotted with
the artwork of my daughters' pokes-
so many fingerprints they give me the heebie jeebies.  (Is that a real word?)
It reminds me of my life...
my heart in need of cleansing,
my life in need of serenity.

God is greater than my own world,
the world within my thoughts.
Once again I look on the cross where You died.
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside.
I long for beauty...
Not just in my neighbor's window, but in mine.