Heart Cry

In the heart of every woman is this longing to be loved.

But when a woman feels unloved, she will cling to something.  Sometimes it is an unhealthy relationship, sometimes a career, maybe a child, a hobby, or even social networking.  This striving for love shows itself in various forms, but is never truly met until her soul nestles into God.

I ordered a music DVD for our youth retreat, seeking a particular song on the call of God.  With that song came another, one simply titled, My Hope.  As I watched, I knew we had the ending for our first session.  Here are some of the words.

Nothing will change, if all the plans I make are wrong
Your love stays the same, Your light will guide me through it all
I'm hanging on, I'm leaning in to You...
(by Paul Baloche)

And I thought of Leah, my hero.  Her heart was wounded, weeping for lack of love.  Plans had gone wrong and she was caught in a life long conflict, one that would not end overnight.  She tried so hard to gain her husband's approval, anything that would turn him towards her and nothing worked.

Finally, after giving Jacob his fourth son, Leah named him Judah for she said, "I will praise the Lord."  (Gen. 29:35)  I see no indication in Scripture to tell us that her situation changed, or that Jacob began to truly love her, only that Leah had reached a place of joy.  She at last found the secret of contentment through her pain . . . trust in a sovereign God expressed through a grateful heart.

These two women of the Bible, Leah and Rachel, leave our modern day soap operas in the dust.  Rachel is often placed on a pedestal, but I don't see it that way.  True, Rachel had a knock out body, bedroom eyes, and most of all, the love of her husband.  Yet, Rachel held onto her father's idols with a heart divided and was filled with ugly jealousies.  And to top it off, Rachel was barren.  (Gen. 29:17,30,31)

But God is able to redeem wasted years . . . if we will look to Him.

Nothing can reach the end of all Your faithfulness,
Your grace is with me, through every shadow, every test
I'm hanging on, I'm leaning in to You.  
(by Paul Baloche)

This is why I love the Bible.  It's message is so current, so real.  The more I study, the more I am blown away by the character of God. 

In her later years, Leah joins a fight better left alone.  I'm reminded of our own heart's tendency to regress.  Leah cannot resist the battle of her sister and stoops to join in.  But at the end of their lives we see a faithful God who is able to untangle the mess.  Leah is buried with the patriarchs, a great honor.  And through her son Judah, comes the promised Messiah.

I was going to end there, but then thought, "What about Rachel?  Was there hope for her story, one which seemed so sad, holding its own share of wounds?"  But there it was.  Clear and pointed.

Rachel died near Bethlehem, giving birth to a son she named Ben-Oni, meaning, "son of my sorrow".  But Jacob renamed him Benjamin, "son of my right hand."  (Gen. 35:16-19)  And from Bethlehem came our Savior, the suffering Messiah, who through His death brought life overflowing.  A root out of dry ground . . . beauty from ashes.

You are my Rock, when storms are raging all around,
You shelter me God, I'm safe with You on solid ground,
I'm hanging on, I'm leaning in to You.  

I don't know where You'll take me,
But I know You're always good.

My hope is built, on nothing less,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way,
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I'm holding on to You...
(by Paul Baloche)

Our youth retreat has come and gone, but I can't get over what God has shown me in these Scriptures.  He continues to bless me through His Word.

I love it that this song is not sung by Paul Baloche alone, but accompanied by a woman.  God cares deeply for the heart of women and knows our unique struggles.  Maybe it is you who needs these words today.  I plead with you to hear the heart of God through this song.  Click on this link, My Hope, and turn your heart towards the Lover of your soul.

However impossible your situation, know that it is not beyond the reach of God.  He can redeem wasted years.  Lean hard into His love.