Answers

I am blown away by God's attentiveness to my life.  Why would He listen to this pinpoint of a soul amongst a sea of people?  But He has indeed heard my longings, yearnings so deep I did not know how to voice them. 

I read the Word most every day.  It is not a drudgery for me, or a brownie point, but something I look forward to with great delight and anticipation.  There are days in the Scriptures that seem like cereal and milk, not a stand out.  But now and then God gives me a juicy steak cooked just right with saut'ed shrooms on top and I can feel the nourishment coursing through my soul.

As I sought the Lord for specific direction, the answer came the next morning . . . through the Word.  I love it when God does that.  It leaves me free of all doubts, since the speaking came through my regular consistent Bible reading.

It is no secret that I've been writing some Bible studies for young women.  But the dream has died several times and I needed to know if it truly was a calling of God or simply my own ambition.  God used Hebrews 7, the account of Abraham with Melchizedek, for my answer.

Abraham was given a promise.  Descendants as numerous as the stars, blessing all peoples on earth, and a land of their own.   He risked everything on that promise, forging his life into it.  And through the window of Scripture, we are shown his struggle.  At this point, there is no child and he owns not a stitch of land.  He is met by Melchizadek, a priest of God Most High, who not only owns Salem, (later known as Jerusalem), but is king over it! 

I wonder if Abraham ever had doubts on whether he had heard God right.  He may have thought, "Wow, I serve God all these years, leave behind all I know to pursue faith in the promise and this guy has already arrived, in fact he rules!  What am I doing here?  Why should I continue?"   I don't think so, for the Scriptures tell us that Abraham offered a tithe to this priest and that Melchizedek blessed him.  (Heb. 7:1-2) (No disrespect intended, as I know "this guy" could actually be a theophany of Christ Himself) 

I have a friend who 'rules her territory' with publishing a book.  I have a niece who 'owns her Salem' with her testimony through writing.  And then there are still others who have already written great studies on Ruth and Esther.  Yet, like Abraham, though I do not see any 'child', nor have I gained much ground, God wants me to continue in obedience to Him . . . by faith.  

Abraham eventually did own one plot of land.  It was the burial ground for his wife Sarah.  And God did indeed give them a son, along with many descendants, through Isaac.  (And later Jesus, in a spiritual sense.  This is how we call Abraham our father)  But God asked a hard thing of Abraham regarding that son.  Abraham was to offer him up to the Lord in complete surrender. 

One thing I like about the Scriptures is that we are given panoramic views on the lives of people.  We can see what resulted in Abraham's life.  I wonder what will be the big picture of my life and how it fits into heaven's perspective over generations.  Abraham could not see.  Nor do we.  And perhaps what causes us to fall on our faces in total dependence on God, the process of faith, is just as much the goal as the end result. 

I don't know if there will be an end result to my writing, but I do know that the journey is 'crowding me to Christ' in ways I never imagined.

Later, that same day, I met with a friend who confirmed what God had already told me.  As she prayed over me, I felt the soothing ointment of God's Spirit pour over my soul.  I was so blessed and encouraged.   

That very night, I went to an Essential Oils party with more friends, a vivid illustration of God's working in my life.  I could not help but think of Esther from the Bible, and the meaning of myrrh and frankincense in Scripture, the purifying nature of the oils, along with their soothing qualities.

I believe one reason God has brought me to this season in my life is for this very purpose, to write.  The time is now.  And if I perish, I perish.