Wednesday, April 16, 2014

When Regret Overwhelms

I wanted Easter to be meaningful, but was not prepared for the way in which it was/is coming.  I am filled with such remorse that I can scarcely bear the weight of my own shortcomings.  I thought I was more grown up, that I had learned from past mistakes and would never let myself utter such harsh words again, especially to those so near and dear to me.

I believe that proclaiming truth is my greatest gift.  Yet, with that comes potential for greatest weakness, through the words I speak. 

I don't know if I dare say this, but I've always felt that Christians are fairly hard on Judas Iscariot.  To think that he would actually betray the Lord and then go out and kill himself.  We cluck our tongues in self-righteous indignation.  Yet, I find myself relating to this man more than I care to admit.  When I feel so awful about my sin, it seems others could never forgive me, let alone Jesus, and I am filled with sorrow. 

But then there is Peter.  He too felt unworthy to ever be called God's own.  However, instead of running to despair, Peter ran to the Lord, seeking His mercy and forgiveness.  And I am encouraged that Jesus personally brought him back, making him strong in the Lord.

This week God has brought me to my knees, keenly aware of my need for a Savior.  Not only have I felt the shame and sting of my own sin, but also the sting of death.  A shadow of sadness has come over me as I watch my Dad struggle with what might be his last days.  Friday has been here all week, and its only Wednesday.   Though I'm pulled to despair, I refuse, because Sunday's coming. 

Resurrection Sunday, where all is made new and the blood of Jesus cleanses from all sin.
Resurrection Sunday, where death cannot win and I am made righteous in God's sight.
Resurrection Sunday, where I am accepted in the Beloved, where Jesus is not ashamed to call me His own, because "both He who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family."  (Heb. 2:11) 

Praise God for His indescribable gift! 

"Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"  (John 1:29)

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