Monday, April 28, 2014

High Tide

Seeking to be heard above the roar of the waves, I shouted, "Get back!  Run!" but to no avail.  I could only watch helpless as an angry ocean swept against my husband and youngest daughter, soaking their jeans.  

This all began after we first walked through an open cave, (which I told you about in my last post), and headed north along the Oregon coast.  At the place where we entered the tunnel, it was dry, but the other end was wet, emptying onto a beach quickly filling with water.  Making a run between waves we made it through, knowing full well we were now at the mercy of the tide.  There would be no turning back.

Driftwood clung to the steep bank, a warning that the waves could reach us if they felt so inclined.  The rocks trapped us from escaping north or south, and I began to feel claustrophobic.  Should the tide come in too far, it would engulf us.

My family was not worried, but I panicked.  Urging them along with me, I clamored up the steep sides and found a safe perch where we could watch the show. 

After a time, my husband and youngest daughter felt brave and decided to climb down from the bank and sit on a rock just below the driftwood.  It was as if the ocean felt threatened and took the challenge, for on the very next wave it reached out and grabbed them.   Summer clung to her dad with all her might, but both managed to hold their anchor on that little rock.

While it gave me an adrenaline rush to watch, it also triggered a longing.  Secretly I wished I had been down there, water moving dangerous, exhilarated by the thrill, a participator rather than an onlooker.

Then the realization began to sink in.  Though my respite from the blogging world has been refreshing, it has also been safe.  Too safe.   I hear God calling me from the high bank and into the action.  So the breakers might engulf, I might feel terrified, and I might worry at the tide.  But clinging to my Savior, nothing can truly harm me.  I would rather be in the waves, enjoying life fully, than watching from the shore and missing the growth.   

The network is swamped with bloggers, many already saying what I mean to say. . . only better.  I get discouraged thinking, Why does the world need yet another blogger?   But, as I'm sure you've heard it said, just because the lilac next to me blooms profusely, doesn't mean I should not stretch to the Son with my own pink blossoms.  To hold back is to deprive others of beauty and blessing in a way that only I can give. 

I admit, it is hard to be vulnerable.  To click the publish button always gives me second thoughts and some self doubt.  At the same time, I'm learning that it is good for me, because in the place of risk and inadequacy is faith and God's enabling.  I want to live in a realm where life is at its fullest.  In the process of blogging, I'm forced to lean hard on the Lord, yet, always find His grace sufficient.  And that, coupled with the thought that I might encourage someone out there, even if only one, is worth it all. 

Thanks for hanging with me through this journey.

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