There is nothing quite like a camping trip to test the bonds of community. Without the comforts of running water or a soft bed, our sin nature floats closer to the surface. It is easy to murmur or complain and to live selfishly. The temptation to assume the worst of others rather than the best rides on the tip of the tongue.
I just returned from a camping trip with a group of young students. Some of them I had only just met. Half way through the week, my regular Bible reading led me to 1 Corinthians 13. Whew! What a convicting chapter! I could take just one of the many traits mentioned characterizing love and never get it right . . . such as patience. But the Spirit of God knows just what we need for the strength to endure suffering.
I had never slept on a cot before. I did not know that cold air circulates underneath and for that reason, a buffer is needed. Coming from the heat of the desert I had not brought along enough warm gear for the chilly mountain air, resulting in five nights of little sleep and miserable tossing and turning.
But the girls in my tent were cold as well and so we got creative. All the coats and towels my family had brought we laid out underneath us. But there was still not enough to go around. I heard the Spirit prompting me to give away one of the thin foam mats and a blanket I had brought for myself. I resisted because, well, I am getting up in years and think I need certain comforts. But love compelled me to give those items away.
As I've been meditating on the book of 1 Peter, I've come to realize that trials come not because we are mature, but rather because we need to grow up. It is humbling to realize that I have not yet grown up in some basic areas, such as love. So often I am just a "noisy gong or a clanging symbol." (1 Cor. 13:1) But God is getting us ready for glory, fit for heaven where there is no sin. Sometimes it seems like I receive the same test over and over because I stubbornly refuse to respond in the correct manner as I know that I should.
This summer, my local church has challenged all of us to memorize 1 Cor. 13 together. I haven't started yet, but am thinking I need to do that today. Memorizing a passage does not mean we have conquered its application, only that it is incorporated into our brains. But this is a good start. If it is in our minds, then our hearts can more readily know the Spirit's prompting and receive strength for living it out.
Sometimes it is tempting to dwell in isolation where we can live only for ourselves. But community is a good thing. There we are sharpened, "as iron sharpens iron", to be conformed more and more into the likeness of Christ. (Prov. 27:17)
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Tender Moments
Every once in awhile, God makes His presence known to me in a tangible way. It always comes unexpectedly and I call it a God-thing.
I do not usually attend youth group with my husband, but this last week he invited me to tag along because of a special event they were doing. And so I did. We arrived at the church early and to kill some waiting time, I sat down at the piano. Thumbing through the hymnal, I ended at number 250. As my fingers stumbled through the notes, the words met the need of my heart.
"Calvary covers it all, my past with its sin and shame. My guilt and despair, Jesus took on Him there, and Calvary covers it all." by Mrs. Walter Taylor
My mind often works overtime with self-accusations and in that moment, God reassured me that He had it covered, that "there is now no condemnation in Christ." (Rom. 8:1)
That same evening I wandered past the church library's free book table. Students were arriving and so I quickly grabbed a book that caught my eye by one of my favorite authors, Charles Swindoll, called Hope Again. It was subtitled, When Life Hurts and Dreams Fade. Later that night I realized this book was none other than a study on the book of 1 Peter, the one I recently memorized. Since then I've been soaking up this book and can scarcely put it down.
These two surprises were like God said to me, "I am here. I'm not too busy with all the other people in the world to attend to your needs or to know your heart." And the really special thing about it all? It was my birthday. God making His presence known to me was the greatest gift I could ever ask for. A God-thing.
I think God delights in popping in on us, but so often we fail to notice. For those of us who know Him, His presence is, in truth, with us always. (Heb. 13:5) But sometimes He surprises us with an acute awareness of it. This I love, precious and tender moments with my Savior.
I do not usually attend youth group with my husband, but this last week he invited me to tag along because of a special event they were doing. And so I did. We arrived at the church early and to kill some waiting time, I sat down at the piano. Thumbing through the hymnal, I ended at number 250. As my fingers stumbled through the notes, the words met the need of my heart.
"Calvary covers it all, my past with its sin and shame. My guilt and despair, Jesus took on Him there, and Calvary covers it all." by Mrs. Walter Taylor
My mind often works overtime with self-accusations and in that moment, God reassured me that He had it covered, that "there is now no condemnation in Christ." (Rom. 8:1)
That same evening I wandered past the church library's free book table. Students were arriving and so I quickly grabbed a book that caught my eye by one of my favorite authors, Charles Swindoll, called Hope Again. It was subtitled, When Life Hurts and Dreams Fade. Later that night I realized this book was none other than a study on the book of 1 Peter, the one I recently memorized. Since then I've been soaking up this book and can scarcely put it down.
These two surprises were like God said to me, "I am here. I'm not too busy with all the other people in the world to attend to your needs or to know your heart." And the really special thing about it all? It was my birthday. God making His presence known to me was the greatest gift I could ever ask for. A God-thing.
I think God delights in popping in on us, but so often we fail to notice. For those of us who know Him, His presence is, in truth, with us always. (Heb. 13:5) But sometimes He surprises us with an acute awareness of it. This I love, precious and tender moments with my Savior.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Grace and Peace
A few weeks ago I completed a personal goal--memorizing the book of 1 Peter. Though the Word is incorporated into my brain, my real reason for learning it was that it might be woven into my heart to promote change in who I am. God is holding me to that goal, but not in the way I anticipated. Instead He has brought fiery trial into my life. A test? I don't know. But one thing I do know is that God, by His Spirit, is proving Himself sufficient to work out that Word in my life.
1 Peter 3:11 calls us to "seek peace and pursue it." I know Satan's greatest weapon is division among believers. He takes great delight in our squabbles and misunderstandings because it causes us to lose our focus. Therefore, in pursuit of peace, I have rewritten my former post, On Becoming a Woman Part 4. I do not apologize for its content because I believe it to be accurate to Scripture. The Word of God cannot be compromised, even though it does offend. But I am sorry for the confusing manner in which I wrote it, resulting in hurt and division.
I firmly believe that in every criticism there is an element of truth. Yet, so often my pride defends itself and is not willing to weed through the hurt and muck to find the nugget of truth. But "faithful are the wounds of a friend." (Prov. 27:6) A true friend does not flatter, but rather speaks honestly and cares enough to be involved in our messes. If that is you, thank you.
I'm beginning to see the reason for my recent trials. God is using them to work humility into my life. I do not want to be proud because "God resists the proud." (1 Pet. 5:5) What a forlorn place to be! I long, instead, for God's grace which is poured out on the humble. This shade of grace is become clear to me now. Not that it was absent before. I have been through deep valleys in the past and known God's presence that upholds so firmly. But I'm not sure I could fully see this aspect, that the face of humility shines grace in its brightest hue . . . if I'm willing to accept it. And only in acceptance am I able to see it.
I just returned from a camping trip in the Colorado mountains with my in-laws. There God gave me pictures through creation of His work in my life. The book of 1 Peter begins with a prayer, "grace and peace be yours in abundance." (1 Pet. 1:2)
Likewise, it ends with "peace be to all of you who are in Christ." (1 Pet. 5:14)
I certainly know God's grace and peace in my life, but this post is my pursuit of the same with you,
that we might be one in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 3:11 calls us to "seek peace and pursue it." I know Satan's greatest weapon is division among believers. He takes great delight in our squabbles and misunderstandings because it causes us to lose our focus. Therefore, in pursuit of peace, I have rewritten my former post, On Becoming a Woman Part 4. I do not apologize for its content because I believe it to be accurate to Scripture. The Word of God cannot be compromised, even though it does offend. But I am sorry for the confusing manner in which I wrote it, resulting in hurt and division.
I firmly believe that in every criticism there is an element of truth. Yet, so often my pride defends itself and is not willing to weed through the hurt and muck to find the nugget of truth. But "faithful are the wounds of a friend." (Prov. 27:6) A true friend does not flatter, but rather speaks honestly and cares enough to be involved in our messes. If that is you, thank you.
I'm beginning to see the reason for my recent trials. God is using them to work humility into my life. I do not want to be proud because "God resists the proud." (1 Pet. 5:5) What a forlorn place to be! I long, instead, for God's grace which is poured out on the humble. This shade of grace is become clear to me now. Not that it was absent before. I have been through deep valleys in the past and known God's presence that upholds so firmly. But I'm not sure I could fully see this aspect, that the face of humility shines grace in its brightest hue . . . if I'm willing to accept it. And only in acceptance am I able to see it.
I just returned from a camping trip in the Colorado mountains with my in-laws. There God gave me pictures through creation of His work in my life. The book of 1 Peter begins with a prayer, "grace and peace be yours in abundance." (1 Pet. 1:2)
I certainly know God's grace and peace in my life, but this post is my pursuit of the same with you,
that we might be one in Christ Jesus.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Faith or Fear
It began with pvc pipe, boards, and a saw.
When God began His plan for my life, I sometimes wonder what on earth He was thinking! It seems like the raw materials at birth were not really adequate for the end He had in mind. Yet, as I look at the process of anything we create, the end result is never the components in and of themselves, but rather compiled together in an orderly fashion to make a complete work of art. And in the process, it does not always appear to be ordered. Often there is a mistake here and there, even big gashes and slashes, but the artist learns to incorporate those scars into the final production. Why would it be any different with God since He is our source and the ultimate Creator?
June marks two beginnings in my life. My entrance into this world and, nine years later, the start of an abundant life found through faith in Jesus . . . my spiritual birth. It was then, at Vacation Bible School, in a tiny church of the Pacific Northwest, that I got on the right track to begin a lifetime roller coaster of faith. And what a ride it has been!
I've been teaching a group of 5th grade girls this week at our VBS. One thing I love is that though the lessons I'm teaching are designed for 10 year olds, the Word of God is still the Word and powerful for impact on my own life. The theme, Facing Fear Trusting God, is appropriate since fear has characterized much of my past.
When I first committed my life to Jesus, He began to give me victory in the tiniest ways. To an outsider it may not have seemed like any big deal, but to me it was huge. Since then, God has brought much bigger challenges into my life, but as I exercise faith, those fears don't loom so big.
My Dad once asked me if I still held those same fears of childhood and I had to say yes. Though the fears are tamed, they are indeed, still there. And if I allow them to, they still can overwhelm me. But I've learned to use them as a launching pad rather than a squelching zap. Just as the roller coaster gains momentum in those downward lunges of terror, so my life builds strength in each victory.
I once thought that to rely on God meant to pray really hard, that I should sit and do nothing because the work was all up to Him. I finally came to realize that I could hide in the corner and pray the rest of my life, but until I took a step of faith to really trust God in risk, I would still be hanging out in that corner. God is always ready to be active in our lives. But to follow Him requires faith coupled with action which requires risk.
2 Chronicles 16:9 became my life verse. It states that "the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the whole earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." More than anything I wanted a heart that was completely devoted to God. And over and over He has shown Himself to be my strong support.
As I recently listened to over 200 VBS children and staff sing their hearts out, one phrase of a song grips my soul. The song speaks of changed hearts and then states, "Stir me up inside. I want to feel Your Spirit moving." It is that stirring that gets to me.
My life continues to be shaken up so that I might depend on God. Pride is ruffled, restraint is required, and seeking the best for others is what must remain in the forefront. God never lets me get comfortable, but always provides that stirring which produces the storm. Yet, in the midst of adversity is where I find the Spirit of God most tangible and His grace most strong.
As I continue to plunge into fear, my faith muscles are worked resulting in a deepened relationship with God. For this reason I seek to pursue the difficult path toward healing rather than bury hurt in grudges. Sigh. But I don't always choose the hard way. Sometimes I coast, thinking abundant life is found there. But a life of safe complacency never satisfies, because I am made for the adventure and rhythms of the track.
Someday I'm going to get off of this ride and when the clacking of wheels slows to a halt, I know that if I've exercised faith through obedience, I'll be glad for the journey.
"For God has not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Tim. 1:7
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
On Being A Woman (Part 4)
Today I speak on what is most dear to my heart. . . the spiritual life of a woman. I am so thankful that as a woman, I can know God as deeply as any man. We all have equal opportunity to "draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8) The Spirit of God indwells every true believer in Christ, and this Spirit within us reveals God through His Word without boundaries on gender, race, or social status. (Gal. 3:28)
Yet, equal opportunity to know God coupled with equal value, does not equate to equal roles within marriage or the church. The reason is twofold.
First, the head of man is Christ, and the head of woman is man. (1 Cor. 11:3) Secondly, God uses the marriage relationship as a metaphor of His relationship with us, His church. (Eph. 5:-27) The rest of this post delves deeper into these two thoughts.
Throughout the entire Bible it is Adam, not Eve, who receives the blame and responsibility for the sin of the garden. (Rom. 5:12, 14,17) How can this be, when it is Eve who actually initiated the first bite of the fruit? Should not Eve, therefore, bear the weight of the crime?
Eve was deceived, but Adam just plain disobeyed. (Gen. 3:1-6) Therefore, he is held responsible. Yet the main reason Adam is attributed to the sin nature in all of us, is not only because he deliberately disobeyed God, but because . . . he is head over his wife. (1 Tim. 2:12-13) For those who are husbands, this is a sobering thought. But as a wife, it gives me a great sigh of relief. I am glad to be under my husband's authority. It does not free me of responsibility. But it does provide a protection over me, so long as I remain within the authority structure God has designed.
This principle holds some exceptions. When the authority becomes corrupt and makes demands contrary to God's law, then that authority is disqualified, and we must "obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29) For the abused and battered wife, I am not promoting a 'grin and bear it' solution. Some men have taken advantage of their position for personal gain and lord it over those under them. This too, is not in agreement with Scripture. The husband is to "love his wife as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her." (Eph.5:25)
However, marriage, in its purist form, is a picture of God's relationship with His people, the church. (Eph. 5:23-27) Christ is the head of His church. Therefore, a wife responds to her husband as each of us, both men and women, respond to God. This is why the man is the head of the wife because he represents Christ. (1 Cor. 11:3)
For the same reason, God has designed men to be in positions of authority in our churches. But this does not mean women are excluded from leadership or spiritual gifts. Only that she must exercise these elements under the authority structure of her local church. Both husbands and wives are to submit to one another, and all of us, men and women, are to submit to those over us. (1 Pet. 2:17)
Yet, being in an authority position does not make a man more attuned to the Scriptures than a woman. In fact, Jesus was revolutionary in His view of women, especially considering the culture of His day which considered women no more than servants to men. This degrading of women is still true for most of the world. We are so blessed to live in a country that grants women value and rights equal to men. The basis for a woman's value comes directly from the heart of God.
The woman at the well was amazed that Jesus would even speak to her, an outcast of society. (John 4:9) On another occasion, Jesus pressed forward, crushed against the crowds, to raise a twelve year old girl from the dead. (Luke 8:42) Yet, in the midst of that commotion, He stopped to attend to one woman. She was nobody of importance, but held onto a thread of hope in the touch of Jesus' robe. And perhaps even more than that, she longed to be valued and respected. Jesus noticed and granted her heart's desire. (Luke 8:42-45) So too, Mary went against the protocol of her day that she might pour out her life in worship of Jesus. He did not brush her off, but instead, defended her for such devotion. (John 12:3-7) And perhaps most powerful of all was that after Jesus rose from the dead, He appeared first to women. (Matt. 28:1-7).
Furthermore, when Paul speaks of each believer receiving a spiritual gift, women are not excluded. He says that there are "different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit...different kinds of service, but the same Lord...different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men." (I Cor. 12:4-6) Yet, so often, the spiritual gifts of women are not utilized in our churches. Surely, not all women are given the gift of hospitality, encouragement, or of service. Some are given the gift of teaching or exhortation, even the gift of prophecy, which is one who proclaims truth.
As I look at some modern day examples such as Elizabeth Elliot, Pricilla Shirer, or Nancy Leigh DeMoss, what are they doing if not exercising gifts of preaching and teaching? We've become confused, thinking it is about gender when it is really about authority. None of the women mentioned above are pastors of churches, nor do they 'run their own show' outside of authority structures, nor actively seek to teach adult men. (Although many a wise man has been blessed by their ministry). But rather, they serve humbly as God gives them opportunity, without shrinking back from exercising their spiritual gift.
My greatest joy as a woman, is my relationship with God and being so valued, that I can share what I'm learning with others. Planning church potlucks is not my forte. Homemaking is actually a challenge for me. But studying and teaching the Bible places passion in my soul. It might be my spiritual gift.
I trust that these four posts covering the image of God, acceptance of femininity, modesty, and spiritual discernment, have all culminated into a balanced perspective on the making of a woman. And as women who embrace these four areas, we can flourish in all God created us to be . . . as the crowning glory of His creation.
Yet, equal opportunity to know God coupled with equal value, does not equate to equal roles within marriage or the church. The reason is twofold.
First, the head of man is Christ, and the head of woman is man. (1 Cor. 11:3) Secondly, God uses the marriage relationship as a metaphor of His relationship with us, His church. (Eph. 5:-27) The rest of this post delves deeper into these two thoughts.
Throughout the entire Bible it is Adam, not Eve, who receives the blame and responsibility for the sin of the garden. (Rom. 5:12, 14,17) How can this be, when it is Eve who actually initiated the first bite of the fruit? Should not Eve, therefore, bear the weight of the crime?
This principle holds some exceptions. When the authority becomes corrupt and makes demands contrary to God's law, then that authority is disqualified, and we must "obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29) For the abused and battered wife, I am not promoting a 'grin and bear it' solution. Some men have taken advantage of their position for personal gain and lord it over those under them. This too, is not in agreement with Scripture. The husband is to "love his wife as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her." (Eph.5:25)
However, marriage, in its purist form, is a picture of God's relationship with His people, the church. (Eph. 5:23-27) Christ is the head of His church. Therefore, a wife responds to her husband as each of us, both men and women, respond to God. This is why the man is the head of the wife because he represents Christ. (1 Cor. 11:3)
For the same reason, God has designed men to be in positions of authority in our churches. But this does not mean women are excluded from leadership or spiritual gifts. Only that she must exercise these elements under the authority structure of her local church. Both husbands and wives are to submit to one another, and all of us, men and women, are to submit to those over us. (1 Pet. 2:17)
Yet, being in an authority position does not make a man more attuned to the Scriptures than a woman. In fact, Jesus was revolutionary in His view of women, especially considering the culture of His day which considered women no more than servants to men. This degrading of women is still true for most of the world. We are so blessed to live in a country that grants women value and rights equal to men. The basis for a woman's value comes directly from the heart of God.
The woman at the well was amazed that Jesus would even speak to her, an outcast of society. (John 4:9) On another occasion, Jesus pressed forward, crushed against the crowds, to raise a twelve year old girl from the dead. (Luke 8:42) Yet, in the midst of that commotion, He stopped to attend to one woman. She was nobody of importance, but held onto a thread of hope in the touch of Jesus' robe. And perhaps even more than that, she longed to be valued and respected. Jesus noticed and granted her heart's desire. (Luke 8:42-45) So too, Mary went against the protocol of her day that she might pour out her life in worship of Jesus. He did not brush her off, but instead, defended her for such devotion. (John 12:3-7) And perhaps most powerful of all was that after Jesus rose from the dead, He appeared first to women. (Matt. 28:1-7).
Furthermore, when Paul speaks of each believer receiving a spiritual gift, women are not excluded. He says that there are "different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit...different kinds of service, but the same Lord...different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men." (I Cor. 12:4-6) Yet, so often, the spiritual gifts of women are not utilized in our churches. Surely, not all women are given the gift of hospitality, encouragement, or of service. Some are given the gift of teaching or exhortation, even the gift of prophecy, which is one who proclaims truth.
As I look at some modern day examples such as Elizabeth Elliot, Pricilla Shirer, or Nancy Leigh DeMoss, what are they doing if not exercising gifts of preaching and teaching? We've become confused, thinking it is about gender when it is really about authority. None of the women mentioned above are pastors of churches, nor do they 'run their own show' outside of authority structures, nor actively seek to teach adult men. (Although many a wise man has been blessed by their ministry). But rather, they serve humbly as God gives them opportunity, without shrinking back from exercising their spiritual gift.
My greatest joy as a woman, is my relationship with God and being so valued, that I can share what I'm learning with others. Planning church potlucks is not my forte. Homemaking is actually a challenge for me. But studying and teaching the Bible places passion in my soul. It might be my spiritual gift.
I trust that these four posts covering the image of God, acceptance of femininity, modesty, and spiritual discernment, have all culminated into a balanced perspective on the making of a woman. And as women who embrace these four areas, we can flourish in all God created us to be . . . as the crowning glory of His creation.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
On Being A Woman (Part 3)
My daughter and I were waiting in the hallway of a college when a group of young women walked in. They were oblivious to our presence, verbally drooling over the scantly clad attire of one woman among them. We could not help but hear their comments. "I'm so jealous," and, "where did you find that outfit?"
Shortly after, a group of young men entered the hallway. The scantly clad woman announced to the boys that she could walk just like a model of Victoria's Secret and promptly proceeded to demonstrate this feat, proving herself right. Of course she was the center of attention.
Since when did the knowledge that immodesty tempts men and causes women to be jealous ever inspire a college gal to be a good girl? It is not a deterrent, but rather a motivation! I am saddened to see the 'way of the world', destroy the vitality of many a good woman, sapping the beauty right out of her. But I believe we often seek to instruct by presenting the wrong reasons.
My heart goes out to these women because so many have been deceived. If only they realized the beauty of modesty, I truly believe they would make every effort to pursue it. But we have given them a picture of modesty that is tainted with judgement and boring rule books. They have therefore, turned to the culture which tells them that a loss of all shame is the heartbeat of true beauty, paving the way toward love.
I originally had no intent of writing about the subject of modesty because it is such a broad topic. But as I thought on being a woman, I've come to realize that modesty, or the lack of it, is very much a part of who we are. Furthermore, modesty runs deeper than in the clothes we wear. It also comes through in the attitude of the heart, the way in which we carry ourselves, and in the words that we speak.
The remains of my legalism would want to spell out specific boundaries for what I think is acceptable and what isn't, and yet those boundaries would be different for every person depending on their upbringing, cultural influence, and personal taste. Hence, my "I think" would not be the same as your "I think". Furthermore, the grace and love of God compels me to say that this is not a hill to die on, for there are more important issues in life, such as seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Yet, is modesty a part of that righteousness we are to seek? I believe that it is and therefore devote this post to that topic.
Each of us are at different places in our relationship with the Lord. For this reason, we must display grace and compassion, being careful of assumptions based on outward appearance. The Bible presents clear direction in the area of modesty, but within these boundaries, we are given great freedom for personal taste. I am not, therefore, going to give you a list of "my thinks", nor every Scripture I can find on the subject, (and there are many), but rather a few principles gleaned from one single verse. From the following verse, I find three truths that can be applied to modesty, each one balancing out the other.
First of all, we are commanded to live free. This verse follows right on the heels of submitting to authority. So how does freedom and submission coincide? If we do not obey those in authority we are anything but free. By contrast, living in harmony with our authorities brings great freedom . . . and beauty. Yet, this does not mean there cannot be room for differing convictions. Rather, it means there is a way to go about declaring our views, and that way is not through rebellion.
However, obeying authority does not mean we have to please every person's idea of modesty. We cannot live to please people or we would go insane. Believe me, I've tried this tactic far too many times. It places burdens on us of which God never intended. If we are weighed down with the expectations and opinions of others, we become a slave to them and live in bondage. Their standards then control us. No, our rules of modesty must come from the conviction of our own hearts in accordance to God's Word, not from legalism.
It cannot be denied, man does look at the outward appearance . . . but God looks at the heart. (1 Sam.16:7) We do communicate a message by the way in which we dress. But if God looks at the heart, then why does the Christian community place such an emphasis on the outward appearance? Should the heart not also be what truly matters to us? We can get so hung up on our rules of personal preference that the heart of an individual is often bypassed. God wants us to live free and the freedom of another must not block our acceptance of them.
Now that we have established freedom, we are secondly commanded not to use our freedom as a cover up for evil. In other words, just because I may does not mean that I should. (1 Cor. 6:12-20) I might be personally comfortable with specific attire or speech, but it does not mean that it is not causing others to stumble or that we are not secretly enjoying the attention we receive. We are to consider others before ourselves and "among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality," "nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking." (Eph. 5:3-4)
Every woman wants to be loved. Many would give their bodies as play things in hopes of reaching love, but all that remains is lust. If a woman wants real love, she will dress and behave in such a way that causes men to see who she is as a person with a name and a heart, not as an object. Clothing should, therefore, draw the eye to the face, not to body parts.
Lastly, we are commanded to live as servants of God. What does that look like? A servant does whatever his master commands. And in order to obey, I must surrender my own desires and freedoms which may run contrary to the command. This requires that my selfishness be removed in order for Christ's life to be seen in me. If the freedom in what I wear causes a brother or sister to stumble, then I need to voluntarily limit some of my freedoms out of love for another.
The manner in which our clothing can cause our brothers to stumble is by averting their eyes to the wrong places, hence leading to lust or temptation. But we can also cause our sisters to stumble by making them feel inferior or jealous. Furthermore, immodesty can aid in destroying marriages by coming between a husband and wife, leading the man to feel discontent, and the woman to feel threatened. Instead, we are to "seek peace and pursue it" and to "live in harmony with one another". (1 Pet. 3:11,8)
But by contrast, nothing is more refreshing than a modestly dressed woman exhibiting the beauty of Christ in her behavior and mannerisms. It is restful on the eyes, and soothing to the soul. That is not to say we must cover ourselves from head to toe or that we must wear tents without form or shape. But it does mean that modesty matters, not only in our clothing, but in our behavior and speech, because it brings glory to God, "for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light." (Eph. 5:8)
An excellent summary of modesty comes from the verse directly following 1 Pet. 2:16. It states, "Show proper respect to everyone. Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king." (1 Pet. 2:17) If we respect others, (as well as ourselves), we will dress in such a way as to honor them. Furthermore, real love considers the battle that occurs in the mind of men and makes life easier on them. Real love lays aside self for the sake of another.
I've presented only a few brief thoughts on the subject of modesty. But hopefully I have given you something to think about as you search the Scriptures for yourself. Even from only one verse, a case can be made for a woman's appearance and behavior to honor Christ. I hope you've caught that there are far deeper motivations for modesty than the make up of a man or peace among women. A modest woman is beautiful and reflects her Maker giving glory to His name, while immodesty eventually produces all things ugly, bringing great shame to our Creator. Lastly, all of God's commands and principles are for our good. We will be happiest if we follow in His way, not our own.
Shortly after, a group of young men entered the hallway. The scantly clad woman announced to the boys that she could walk just like a model of Victoria's Secret and promptly proceeded to demonstrate this feat, proving herself right. Of course she was the center of attention.
Since when did the knowledge that immodesty tempts men and causes women to be jealous ever inspire a college gal to be a good girl? It is not a deterrent, but rather a motivation! I am saddened to see the 'way of the world', destroy the vitality of many a good woman, sapping the beauty right out of her. But I believe we often seek to instruct by presenting the wrong reasons.
My heart goes out to these women because so many have been deceived. If only they realized the beauty of modesty, I truly believe they would make every effort to pursue it. But we have given them a picture of modesty that is tainted with judgement and boring rule books. They have therefore, turned to the culture which tells them that a loss of all shame is the heartbeat of true beauty, paving the way toward love.
I originally had no intent of writing about the subject of modesty because it is such a broad topic. But as I thought on being a woman, I've come to realize that modesty, or the lack of it, is very much a part of who we are. Furthermore, modesty runs deeper than in the clothes we wear. It also comes through in the attitude of the heart, the way in which we carry ourselves, and in the words that we speak.
The remains of my legalism would want to spell out specific boundaries for what I think is acceptable and what isn't, and yet those boundaries would be different for every person depending on their upbringing, cultural influence, and personal taste. Hence, my "I think" would not be the same as your "I think". Furthermore, the grace and love of God compels me to say that this is not a hill to die on, for there are more important issues in life, such as seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Yet, is modesty a part of that righteousness we are to seek? I believe that it is and therefore devote this post to that topic.
Each of us are at different places in our relationship with the Lord. For this reason, we must display grace and compassion, being careful of assumptions based on outward appearance. The Bible presents clear direction in the area of modesty, but within these boundaries, we are given great freedom for personal taste. I am not, therefore, going to give you a list of "my thinks", nor every Scripture I can find on the subject, (and there are many), but rather a few principles gleaned from one single verse. From the following verse, I find three truths that can be applied to modesty, each one balancing out the other.
1 Pet. 2:16
"Live as free men [women],
but do not use your freedom as a cover up for evil;
live as servants of God."
First of all, we are commanded to live free. This verse follows right on the heels of submitting to authority. So how does freedom and submission coincide? If we do not obey those in authority we are anything but free. By contrast, living in harmony with our authorities brings great freedom . . . and beauty. Yet, this does not mean there cannot be room for differing convictions. Rather, it means there is a way to go about declaring our views, and that way is not through rebellion.
However, obeying authority does not mean we have to please every person's idea of modesty. We cannot live to please people or we would go insane. Believe me, I've tried this tactic far too many times. It places burdens on us of which God never intended. If we are weighed down with the expectations and opinions of others, we become a slave to them and live in bondage. Their standards then control us. No, our rules of modesty must come from the conviction of our own hearts in accordance to God's Word, not from legalism.
It cannot be denied, man does look at the outward appearance . . . but God looks at the heart. (1 Sam.16:7) We do communicate a message by the way in which we dress. But if God looks at the heart, then why does the Christian community place such an emphasis on the outward appearance? Should the heart not also be what truly matters to us? We can get so hung up on our rules of personal preference that the heart of an individual is often bypassed. God wants us to live free and the freedom of another must not block our acceptance of them.
Now that we have established freedom, we are secondly commanded not to use our freedom as a cover up for evil. In other words, just because I may does not mean that I should. (1 Cor. 6:12-20) I might be personally comfortable with specific attire or speech, but it does not mean that it is not causing others to stumble or that we are not secretly enjoying the attention we receive. We are to consider others before ourselves and "among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality," "nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking." (Eph. 5:3-4)
Every woman wants to be loved. Many would give their bodies as play things in hopes of reaching love, but all that remains is lust. If a woman wants real love, she will dress and behave in such a way that causes men to see who she is as a person with a name and a heart, not as an object. Clothing should, therefore, draw the eye to the face, not to body parts.
Lastly, we are commanded to live as servants of God. What does that look like? A servant does whatever his master commands. And in order to obey, I must surrender my own desires and freedoms which may run contrary to the command. This requires that my selfishness be removed in order for Christ's life to be seen in me. If the freedom in what I wear causes a brother or sister to stumble, then I need to voluntarily limit some of my freedoms out of love for another.
The manner in which our clothing can cause our brothers to stumble is by averting their eyes to the wrong places, hence leading to lust or temptation. But we can also cause our sisters to stumble by making them feel inferior or jealous. Furthermore, immodesty can aid in destroying marriages by coming between a husband and wife, leading the man to feel discontent, and the woman to feel threatened. Instead, we are to "seek peace and pursue it" and to "live in harmony with one another". (1 Pet. 3:11,8)
But by contrast, nothing is more refreshing than a modestly dressed woman exhibiting the beauty of Christ in her behavior and mannerisms. It is restful on the eyes, and soothing to the soul. That is not to say we must cover ourselves from head to toe or that we must wear tents without form or shape. But it does mean that modesty matters, not only in our clothing, but in our behavior and speech, because it brings glory to God, "for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light." (Eph. 5:8)
I've presented only a few brief thoughts on the subject of modesty. But hopefully I have given you something to think about as you search the Scriptures for yourself. Even from only one verse, a case can be made for a woman's appearance and behavior to honor Christ. I hope you've caught that there are far deeper motivations for modesty than the make up of a man or peace among women. A modest woman is beautiful and reflects her Maker giving glory to His name, while immodesty eventually produces all things ugly, bringing great shame to our Creator. Lastly, all of God's commands and principles are for our good. We will be happiest if we follow in His way, not our own.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
On Being A Woman (Part 2)
Pink stinks! The phrase echoed through the subconscious of my childhood, ever reminding me that it was not cool to be feminine.
Among my older sisters, tomboy was in and girly girl was out. We were rough and tough and could keep up with our five brothers on most everything. We did not do nails or makeup. Dying hair was unheard of and none of us ever stepped foot in a salon. We ran pell mell over hay fields, through the barn, and into the creek like nobody's business.
Though the 'pink stinks' jibe was only meant in fun, it represented the tomboy attitude which seemed such a noble trait in the family. Not that I did not have the most enjoyable childhood ever, loving the outdoors and nitty gritty camping, yet deep down the tomboy nature was not really me. I liked pink and flowing dresses. I liked high heels and all things pretty. I played with dolls. Yet, over the years, I had squelched my true preferences because I felt that everything about me was wrong, that my likes or dislikes were secondary to what was acceptable. I didn't want to be thought prissy and was redeemed by my athletic tendencies, displaying strength and independence, certainly capable of opening a door for myself.
My mom seemed my only advocate on this point. I remember her as tough to the core, but at the same time, accepting her womanhood. When she passed away, this is one area in which I felt the sting. I had lost the one person in the family who accepted and understood pink and frills. Though my Dad honors women and admires his daughters more than just about anyone, he is not one I could look to for guidance on girly matters. (No offense, Dad. However, your compliment on the pink dress at your wedding made my heart smile. Thanks.)
Though she was a superb model for inward beauty, it was hard for my mom to offer much instruction for the outside because of her Mennonite upbringing. And yes, it might not sound very spiritual, but the outside does, indeed, matter. When I got married, God provided just what I needed in a mother-in-law. She took me under her wing and helped me with all things girly, such as color, style, accessories, and makeup. I worked up the courage to go to a hairdresser, although to this day it is still a somewhat terrifying experience. But my mother-in-law gave me great confidence as a woman.
Our culture is comfortable and casual. In some circles, dressing up is often made fun of and considered stuffy. Don't get me wrong, my normal attire around the house is jeans and a t-shirt. But somewhere between brash or loose, and dumpy or frumpy, there has to be a balance of true beauty. Within that balance we must give ourselves permission to be women and not feel inferior.
I tell you this because I believe our daughters need encouragement in grace and femininity. Sometimes the culture, while shouting women's equality with men, can push our daughters to be masculine and result in rejecting some aspects of their womanhood.
Fathers, please be careful of promoting this. Girls can sense what their fathers admire or what they think is silly, and oh how a daughter longs to be loved by her father. She will do anything to gain his approval. But our girls need to know that it is okay, and in fact, good, to be feminine. A woman is not less than a man, only different, and she portrays God's image in a unique way. It should be celebrated and encouraged, not looked down upon or made fun of.
However, this does not mean that every girl will like lace and frills, or that we should promote a 'spoiled brat princess' mentality in the name of femininity. In fact, two out of my three daughters have turned out rather tomboyish in personal taste. Yet, they do not try to be one of the boys and are comfortable in how they are made as women. Furthermore, femininity is not all about the outward appearance, but rather an attitude of mind and heart, an acceptance of who we are.
I have since given myself permission to have an opinion, even it it means I like pink. However, feminine does not equate to fragile or helpless. I want my daughters to be strong and capable, but I don't want them to feel they must show up the guys to prove their identity. As women, we can be content with the way God made us. I'm grateful to be a woman and trust I can teach my daughters the same.
Though the 'pink stinks' jibe was only meant in fun, it represented the tomboy attitude which seemed such a noble trait in the family. Not that I did not have the most enjoyable childhood ever, loving the outdoors and nitty gritty camping, yet deep down the tomboy nature was not really me. I liked pink and flowing dresses. I liked high heels and all things pretty. I played with dolls. Yet, over the years, I had squelched my true preferences because I felt that everything about me was wrong, that my likes or dislikes were secondary to what was acceptable. I didn't want to be thought prissy and was redeemed by my athletic tendencies, displaying strength and independence, certainly capable of opening a door for myself.
My mom seemed my only advocate on this point. I remember her as tough to the core, but at the same time, accepting her womanhood. When she passed away, this is one area in which I felt the sting. I had lost the one person in the family who accepted and understood pink and frills. Though my Dad honors women and admires his daughters more than just about anyone, he is not one I could look to for guidance on girly matters. (No offense, Dad. However, your compliment on the pink dress at your wedding made my heart smile. Thanks.)
 |
| My family at my Dad's wedding. |
Our culture is comfortable and casual. In some circles, dressing up is often made fun of and considered stuffy. Don't get me wrong, my normal attire around the house is jeans and a t-shirt. But somewhere between brash or loose, and dumpy or frumpy, there has to be a balance of true beauty. Within that balance we must give ourselves permission to be women and not feel inferior.
I tell you this because I believe our daughters need encouragement in grace and femininity. Sometimes the culture, while shouting women's equality with men, can push our daughters to be masculine and result in rejecting some aspects of their womanhood.
However, this does not mean that every girl will like lace and frills, or that we should promote a 'spoiled brat princess' mentality in the name of femininity. In fact, two out of my three daughters have turned out rather tomboyish in personal taste. Yet, they do not try to be one of the boys and are comfortable in how they are made as women. Furthermore, femininity is not all about the outward appearance, but rather an attitude of mind and heart, an acceptance of who we are.
I have since given myself permission to have an opinion, even it it means I like pink. However, feminine does not equate to fragile or helpless. I want my daughters to be strong and capable, but I don't want them to feel they must show up the guys to prove their identity. As women, we can be content with the way God made us. I'm grateful to be a woman and trust I can teach my daughters the same.
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