Every Day, I Will

One thing my Dad taught me is that God is always speaking to our hearts.  We can blow off a speaker as dry or impersonal, but to be hung up on the messenger can cause us to miss the voice of the Spirit.  Somewhere in all that muck God is seeking my attention.  I need to have keen ears and sharp eyes, always ready and looking for God's voice.   And if my heart has communed with God that day, then I can more easily tune my radar into the places He is speaking to me. 

I have days where life seems overwhelming and my stomach begins to grip with pain.   I know this hurt.  It comes every time I seek to bear the weight of my tomorrows in the moments of today.  I feel a loss of control or hope to ever overcome my obstacles.  This usually comes when I am weary and exhausted.  My husband always tells me to wait for the morning.  And he's right.  After rest and the clean slate of a new day, everything looks better. 

Last night my youngest daughter had the lead role in a play performance with our home school co-op.  Their song is still running through my head, "Every day I'll trust You Lord, Woah-woah, I will. . . ."  Purple and yellow sashes float through the air as medieval knights and princesses sing out and the Spirit of God calls my name through the words of my daughter, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worry of its own."  (from Matt. 6:34)

The play was fun and entertaining, but through all of that, I could hear the voice of God in its message.  Somehow, the director fit each character role with just the right person.  The carpenter fairly took my breath away, not because he was some dashing young boy, but because of who he represented.   My Shepherd.  The One who calls my name and draws me close to His heart saying, "It's okay.  I am building a place for you in heaven, but I am also your sufficiency for this day, your daily bread."  My pastor recently spoke of this very truth as well. When I receive the same message several times in the week, I know without doubt that God is seeking my attention.

As I write this, my daughter is at college, taking an important final exam for her anatomy class.  So many "what ifs" were running through my head yesterday.  What if she does not get the grade she needs to renew her scholarship for next year?  And how will she get to Africa for her internship?  What of the summer which is already booked?  And what of family dynamics undergoing change? What of a dryer on the blink at just the wrong time?  The list goes on.  While assuring my daughter that God would provide, I realized that I myself, was not trusting. 

In most cases, I do not care for pictures of Jesus.  The artist muddies the relationship I know in my heart.  Yet, there are some that I do appreciate.  I have a marker I've kept in my Bible since childhood but it now sits on my vanity as a daily reminder of His lead.  I love the way it portrays Jesus as my Shepherd, the One who "carries the lambs close to His heart."  (Isa. 40:11)   When my heart is unsettled I know that He is my stability.  He has everything under control and nothing comes as a surprise to Him.  I can trust Him.

Today, I carry out the task He has called me to.  I rejoice, for this is the day He has made.  I will be glad in it because He knows the way of my tomorrows.  Obedience is all He asks of me, one step at a time.  I need only follow.  He will do the rest.