To See

Has your heart ever weighed heavy, so heavy that you yearned to tell someone?  At last you spilled your soul out to a friend, but then she brushed it off as, well, trivial?   Instead, she rushed to talk about her agenda, her children, or her interests?  

Jesus pulled his friends aside and said, "Hey guys, I have something important to say.  Listen carefully, because what's about to happen will bewilder and disappoint you.  I'm going to tell you the future because I don't want it to take you by surprise." (Luke 18:31-33, my paraphrase)  Wow, I'd think if someone were to say that to me I'd pay attention.  But the Scriptures tell us that "His words were hidden from them and they failed to grasp what He was talking about."  (Luke 18:34)  

Jesus poured out His heart, telling His disciples so many details of his upcoming death and resurrection.  He would be handed over to the Romans, suffer mockery and be treated shamefully, even spit on.  He would be flogged with a whip and killed.  But . . . on the third day He would rise again.  How could they have missed it?

They could not see.






I don't want to miss seeing Jesus in all His fullness.  Last Easter He wowed me with His presence in real life pictures that could not be seen except by pain.   My sister-in-law was the catalyst and though we all miss her dearly, she enabled me to see.  It was an Easter "Like None Other".

Luke's gospel tells us that after Jesus spoke to His disciples regarding their lack of sight, that a blind beggar hears Jesus passing by with the crowd.  (Luke 18:35-42)  It is peculiar to me that the blind man cries out not for sight, but for mercy.  The crowd tries to shush him, but he is persistent and shouts even louder.

Finally Jesus acknowledges him and knowing this man's immediate pressing need, asks him directly what he wants.  Jesus could have healed him right there on the spot, but He doesn't.  And while healing is indeed merciful, Jesus waits until the blind man simply cries,  "I want to see!"  (Luke 18:41)

How badly do I want to see?  Is this my one desire?   Do I want only mercy, but not sight? 

As Jesus approached Jerusalem riding on a donkey, He wept.  Because though the people were shouting, "Hosanna," they did not recognize Him as their Messiah, or at least not in the way that Jesus came to fulfill. They could not see because they held expectations of their own.   

Do my expectations hinder me from seeing God?  It's so easy to get bogged down with things of this earth that I lose perspective.  For when "my eye is good, my whole body is filled with light, but when my eye is bad, my whole body is full of darkness."  (Matt. 6:22)  God's perspective is like a lamp that provides light for my entire life. 

After last Easter, how could I settle for normal?  Not that the death of my sister-in-law was anything I would ever wish on anyone, but I just want to see Jesus.  My Dad recently came to visit.  The last time I saw him was at her funeral.  What a difference a year makes!  Yet, I do not seek only an experience, but God Himself. 

Like that blind man, Jesus asks each one of us, "What do you want me to do for you?"  I wrote my answer to that question in my prayer journal the other morning.  My pen flew over the pages with gusto, all I want God to do for me. . . through me, and in me.  I used to think it was wrong to have such ambitions.   But now I know He has placed desires in my heart for a reason.  God often works His will through our hearts desire.  It's okay to dream a little.  God will show us in His time where to take those dreams.  He will show us if those desires are from Him or from our own ambition.

My sister-in-law has been a year in heaven.  I cannot imagine the thrill of walking so near God's presence, but though I am still on the earth,  I too have known the presence of Jesus through the Word and prayer.  How precious is His Word and so full of life.  I long to see God's glory, to have eyes opened to all His mighty wonders, even right in front of me.  I know He is working, but there are times I fail to see.  I don't want to miss it.  Ever. 

What do I want Jesus to do for me?  I want to see.