Monday, August 18, 2014


Only last week I was thinking life was sailing smooth, my daughter back on American soil, my son returned to college, and my middle schoolers thriving at school.

Plus, I'd been sowing good seeds for several months and was now reaping some benefits.  But I have to admit, it made me nervous, because I know God is never done building my character, and that it most always comes through trials.  

Putting away childish attitudes and actions never comes with ease.  Just last year God walked me through a relationship crisis, teaching me what it meant to love, build up, and die to my pride.  And now this week I find myself smack dab in the middle of another.  

In an instant, the conflict killed my joy, launching me into a depression I have not seen for some time.  I often pray a dangerous prayer, that God would remove the veil from my eyes, to help me see my blind spots.   And in this case, I believe He revealed to me the bigger picture of what was going on . . .  the enemy seeking to sabotage my focus.

Several ministries of which I'm involved are starting up again, and in this launching stage, my focus is crucial.  It is not a time for coasting or distraction.   I've become keenly aware that Satan is seeking to hinder God's work . . . and that I was thinking too highly of myself.  

Spiritual warfare goes against the grain of my natural inclination.  It calls me to prayerful response rather than gut reaction.  The Spirit of God brought bold before me these words, "Humble yourself."  When I don't know what to do, humility is always the right option, for it inevitably dulls sharp points and jagged edges.  But I don't like it very much.  I'd rather declare my rights and present my defense.

Again the Spirit prompts, "Just humble yourself, that is all."

I recently attended a wedding where a grandpa and granddaughter sang together, "I need You, oh I need You, every hour I need You, my one defense, my righteousness, O God, how I need You.(by Matt Maher) I never thought of it as a wedding song, but loved it in that context.  How true.  Not one moment escapes but that I need Jesus. 

The verses continue with,
             Lord I come, I confess, bowing here, I find my rest.  
             Without You I fall apart, You're the One that guides my heart

             Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
             Where grace is found is where You are.
             And where You are, Lord, I am free
             Holiness is Christ in me.  (by Matt Maher)

With a change in attitude, He has oiled the friction.  Now once again I stand firm in grace, God's favor, which declares that I am an overcomer.  By His blood I fear no shame, for He is the lifter of my head.  And my focus?  It is as it should be, on Him, where I once again find joy in the shadow of His wings. 

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