Tuesday, June 19, 2012

From the Kitchen

I had worked hard all day, on my feet, up and down stairs.  But the day was not yet over and there was still work to do.  Dinner was finished and I'd assigned my youngest girls to wash the dishes.  I thought I deserved a little down time, a pick me up rest before tackling my evening projects, and so went to veg in front of the TV.   

I had just gotten settled into a show when from the kitchen I hear praise music.  I try to ignore it but the Holy Spirit won't let me.  I try to tune into my program and block out the music, but my ear and heart can't help but be drawn towards it.  The dish washing crew was playing my favorite cd, one I often use as a wake up call on our youth retreats.  And with the familiar songs, all those memories came flooding back, lyrics about how God is holy and thirsting after God, stuff like that.  I'm suddenly aware at how unholy is the content of what I'm watching and that my thirst for entertainment at that moment was greater than for the Lord.  But I also realized how empty and unsatisfying was the TV show and how my heart was pulled toward the music in the kitchen.  The heart knows where it belongs.

Now, I'm not saying to watch a movie or a TV program is so bad for relaxation, but I am saying that I have to keep it in its place and in its right priority.  Last weekend God encouraged me in His Word,  drawing me into His presence so tenderly.  The words popped off the page at me and I knew the nearness of God.  So why was I looking to entertainment to quench my thirst?  How quickly I fall!  God was calling me close and I was purposely trying to ignore His voice.

Switching through channels on TV trying to find something acceptable to watch wears me out.  I keep hoping there will be something worthwhile and there just never is.  Even watching a movie can be exhausting when I'm expecting it to fill that hunger for God.  We are called to look to Jesus for only He can truly refresh us.

As I read Proverbs 5 this morning I saw it in a way I'd never seen before.  The entire chapter speaks of the steps which lead to immorality, but these steps could be applied to any sin, such as gluttony, gossip, ungratefulness, etc.  The desires of my own heart seduce me into wrong doing, smooth and sweet as honey, causing me to believe they will satisfy.  But these steps lead straight to the grave.  In defeat I do not really live, though alive.  Therefore, I need to avoid sin like the plague, not even going near to the door of its house. 

But the real clincher is when the passage speaks of "rejoicing in the wife of your youth," and "may you always be captivated by her love."  I thought of my relationship with God, that I am to rejoice in His presence and not go after "other loves".   Am I truly captivated by the love of Christ?  Does He have my undivided heart?  But it is mutual.  God also takes great delight in me.  This thought blows me away!  Really?  God wants to hang out with me so intensely?  Yes, the communion I have with Him runs deep, which is why His heart hurts when I resist His voice.

Today I've made a point of looking only to Jesus and its been a good day, a really good day, even though I did laundry, watered plants, made dinner, washed dishes and cleaned up messes, some pretty mundane things.  But God gave me strength to overcome some of my own pull towards sin as I focused on Him and it has made all the difference.  I pray that every day I will find refuge under the shelter of His wings, for that's what makes it a really great day. 

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